From Acer to Acer, from DOS to DOS

Over the weekend, my faithful laptop of five years perished. I'd just return from my shower to see the damn thing rebooting itself and froze up. Apparently the hard disk crashed or something, but I'd like to think it fell into a coma and never woke up.

RIP (2003-2008)

Aye, it was a good little laptop; little being a misnomer here because it was freaking huge and weighed in a pound less than an adult rhinocerous. Not exactly portable, what with it being four tonnes heavier than a desktop. Not exactly a 'laptop' either, as it tends to inflict third-degree burns from its ass.

I remember the first day I got it as if it was five years ago, which in fact was when it was. Not exactly the most powerful machine at the time, it was alright playing all those older games which dovetails nicely with my fetish of playing 70 year-old games in any case. My last PC being the one I got in 1997, I was enraptured at how fast the thing loaded up Caesar 3. No longer shall I watch Hannibal's elephants ravage my meticulously-constructed Mediolanum like a slide-show.

Point of pride in that it never got a whiff of any virus. Took care of it good on that account. As germ-free as a vat of penicillin. On the outside though it wasn't very pretty. Being a rugged guy and all, I flung the thing about here and there and it got some bruises. Nothing major. They did give me a laptop bag along with the thing, but I never used it, on account of it giving out this funky salaryman vibe.

Was a good laptop, all around. Lasted five years. Towards the end, the screen grew some lines across it and it turned a weird green in places, the thing slowed down to a crawl on occasions out of old-age angst, the mousepad blinkers on and off by itself, you could fry four eggs and a heifer on its processor and unless you prop it up on a book to dissipate the heat, the laptop takes a nap on its own. Still, it delivered my essays and my surfing and all, so it was good.

Well done, lad.

Thus, I commend this heap of junk to the holy processor in the sky. Not that it stands a chance of getting into tech heaven in any case, what with all that porn and 4chan stuff on it.