Three O'clock Truncheon: Harimau Malaya!

Come on, Malaysia!

The Empyreal

Alternates between lapsing into a docile vegetative state and frantic piss-inducing panic as essays loom close. An odd creature, the empyreal in its natural habitat uses alternating tones of voice to avoid harm by annoying people through constant complaints and grumbles.

Usually of an unhappy disposition caused by an unhealthy diet of e-trolls, e-diots and Tesco Value Spaghetti.

The natural predator of the empyreal are children, who enjoy the empyreal's defensive screeches and wild gesticulations as a form of amusement before running him over by sheer weight of numbers, drop-kicking its throat and proceeding to munch on its spleen.

Occasionally, flocks of essays would swoop down on old unsuspecting empyreals, disappearing over the horizon amidst a litany of rants, grunts and obscenities.

Reaching adulthood, the empyreal hunts for his food through working, a tedious ritual whereby the empyreal migrates from his nest to his hunting spot in the middle of the city. Hunting in packs of co-workers, he attacks documents viciously while keeping a look out for a new predator, the boss, and his old-time enemy, children.

empyreals were thought to be one of the oldest creatures on earth. Tribal lores of various culture groups attest to empyreals being present at the creation of the universe, invariably nagging about everything, which led some scholars to believe this is why they tend to not feature so much in holy books.

empyreal studied Philosophy, Politics and Economics while scavenging at the University of Essex. He currently toils as a salaryman with a financial institution. Kinda.

Three O'clock Truncheon

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Harimau Malaya!

0 comments: